Welcome to Crucible of Thought! I'm Brandon, and I was a member of conservative evangelical congregations for 45 years. This blog is about things that I've learned since 2020, as I've been undergoing a process of "deprogramming," "deconstruction," "reconstruction"... pick whatever term you want, but basically a process carefully examining many different aspects of my social, political, and religious beliefs to see what really actually aligns with the Bible and specifically the teachings of Jesus, more than what aligns with the host of dogmatic statements I inherited in years of church training. I'm not trying to persuade anyone: I'm sharing my process, in the hopes that it inspires and enlightens others. I welcome you to join me as we move forward in our faith together.The Eternal Fate of John MacArthur
I believe two things that may seem contradictory: John MacArthur is in hell today. And he will also spend eternity in heaven.
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On Dangerous Ground
How dangerous a thing it is to claim a mantle of being God’s chosen people living on God’s promised land, and not scrupulously following God’s laws! The land itself will spew them out.
And yet, that’s exactly what a massive number of American evangelical Christians are doing – even as they celebrate the horrible injustices being carried out by their government, violating the single most emphasized commandment in the Bible.
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Reaffirming in 2025
In 2022, I realized that as an anti-gay conservative, I had been incredibly wrong about gay and queer people and their acceptability to God. So I publicly and clearly repented. This Pride Month, I’d like to spend a few minutes retelling and expanding on some of my history that led to that decision.
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Why Is It So Hard to Address Homelessness?
I’ve been getting involved in addressing homelessness in my town, and sat in on a meeting about renovating a house into a women’s shelter. I was struck by how *stupidly* hard it is to help people get affordable or even emergency housing. It seems like all the wheels of regulation are jammed against any real progress. Why is it so hard? What can we do about it, if anything?
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A Shallow Veneer of Equality
While I mourn many things that are being lost in the last few months here in America, one that grieves me the most has been the absolute shredding of many markers of equality in our culture. As I watch what is happening, it’s now clear to me that this equality was a lot less solid than I had thought.
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Grieving America
If you’re like me, you’re feeling very unhappy and unsettled by what’s happening in our country right now. The changes are overwhelming, the flood of negative news is unrelenting, and there’s a sense of loss as I watch what’s happening. In some real sense, it requires grieving, as I realize that things are changing rapidly and those changes might be permanent. So the real question in my mind is this: How do I respond? How can I process these changes, and will we ever get back to normal? I suggest that the five stages of grief offer a model for how to proceed.
Too Big To Succeed
In light of the TNE GRACE report, I was thinking about how large organizations, especially religious, seem to inherently breed narcissism and abusive leadership, especially when the organization gets so large that people cover up bad behavior rather than risk toppling the hero leaders.
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On the Death of American Democracy
For many years now, I have been saying that even the American democratic system will ultimately fail, that it will never become The Kingdom of God, that democracy itself must be shown to be inferior to whatever God’s government ultimately will look like. Much to my dismay and discomfort, it’s now happening, faster than I could have imagined. But what SHOULD the Kingdom look like? And in the meantime, what should my response be?
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Winning by Losing
What’s the best way to advance the Kingdom of God on earth? Perhaps you think it’s by conquering our culture, by fighting against those trying to lead us away from God. Or maybe it’s something different. Maybe if we inspect the Way of Jesus, we’ll see something sharply different, something that requires us to sacrifice ourselves instead of conquering others.
Decimation of the Civil Service
These “buyouts” are a bribery tool being used to literally decimate the Civil Service system, not trim the fat. And it’s inherently punitive, not constructive. Let me explain, and remind us of the etymology of the word “decimate.”
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