Welcome to Crucible of Thought! I'm Brandon, and I was a member of conservative evangelical congregations for 45 years. This blog is about things that I've learned since 2020, as I've been undergoing a process of "deprogramming," "deconstruction," "reconstruction"... pick whatever term you want, but basically a process carefully examining many different aspects of my social, political, and religious beliefs to see what really actually aligns with the Bible and specifically the teachings of Jesus, more than what aligns with the host of dogmatic statements I inherited in years of church training. I'm not trying to persuade anyone: I'm sharing my process, in the hopes that it inspires and enlightens others. I welcome you to join me as we move forward in our faith together.

Subjective Truth

I’ve been in an interesting place for a while now, trying to come to grips with a God who turns out to not meet my old expectations, and watching a lot of people who call themselves Christian act rather unlike the Jesus I read about in the Gospels. So I’ve been thinking hard about the nature of truth, and the nature of the Bible itself.

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Betrayal

Betrayal causes a trauma response in humans. Institutions, not just people, can be the source of betrayal. A normal human response to betrayal trauma is to disengage completely from the institution. That’s where I am in relation to several institutions I previously trusted and depended on for my identity.

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Never Forget

I will never forget what was done to the US on 9/11. But I also think it’s well beyond time to repent of our response, and Never Forget what happens when a people collectively lash out in anger and fear, and vow to do our best to never repeat that mistake.

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Becoming Multilingual

As my religious understanding changes, I’m discovering that so does my language about religion. But to “be all things to all men, so that I may save some,” I have to become multilingual – fluently speaking the native language of whatever tribe I am with.

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Labels

A transformative moment for me recently was realizing that my compulsive need for labels to figure out how to treat people was harming my relationships, and keeping me from truly loving people who are very different than me.

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Is the Bible the Final Word?

Did God stop speaking at the end of the first century AD? Did He tell us literally everything we need to know in the Bible? I’ve been thinking about the various basic approaches to reading and understanding the Bible. It seems to me that there are at least two related methods of Bible interpretation, and their interaction results in some rather different outcomes depending on your assumptions.

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