Welcome to Crucible of Thought! I'm Brandon, and I was a member of conservative evangelical congregations for 45 years. This blog is about things that I've learned since 2020, as I've been undergoing a process of "deprogramming," "deconstruction," "reconstruction"... pick whatever term you want, but basically a process carefully examining many different aspects of my social, political, and religious beliefs to see what really actually aligns with the Bible and specifically the teachings of Jesus, more than what aligns with the host of dogmatic statements I inherited in years of church training. I'm not trying to persuade anyone: I'm sharing my process, in the hopes that it inspires and enlightens others. I welcome you to join me as we move forward in our faith together.

O Death, Where Is Thy Sting?

Deconstruction, My Journey /

I’ve been quietly haunted by a fear: that I’m in my mid-50s, finally have something worth passing on, but have nobody to pass it on to – and that time is not in my favor. Then something cracked open for me. What if death doesn’t end the call to make disciples? What if it’s not even close to the end of my usefulness to the Kingdom – because eternity is embodied, on a restored earth, with real work still to do? “O death, where is thy sting?” hits completely differently when you realize the grave can’t stop what God is building in you.

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God Didn’t Answer the Prayer of Jesus Either

Deconstruction /

If you grew up in evangelical Christianity, you probably learned a version of prayer that treats God like a cosmic vending machine – put in the right coin, get out the answer you want. But what if that’s not how prayer works at all? This post explores two very different theologies of what Jesus came to do, and how each one shapes what we expect when we pray. If you’re deconstructing your faith but want to stay Christian, this might reframe the question in a way that actually helps.

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Kissing the Ring

Christian Nationalism /

I’ve been so deeply disappointed in watching famous preachers and worship leaders kissing the ring of this antichrist administration. The Pentagon worship services established by Pete Hegseth are not in keeping with the founding and the character of the United States of America, and the preachers and worship leaders supporting them have abandoned any pretense of serving the church universal, and have taken sides with the empire that stands opposed to righteousness.

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