Welcome to Crucible of Thought! I'm Brandon, and I was a member of conservative evangelical congregations for 45 years. This blog is about things that I've learned since 2020, as I've been undergoing a process of "deprogramming," "deconstruction," "reconstruction"... pick whatever term you want, but basically a process carefully examining many different aspects of my social, political, and religious beliefs to see what really actually aligns with the Bible and specifically the teachings of Jesus, more than what aligns with the host of dogmatic statements I inherited in years of church training. I'm not trying to persuade anyone: I'm sharing my process, in the hopes that it inspires and enlightens others. I welcome you to join me as we move forward in our faith together.

Grieving America

Uncategorized /

If you’re like me, you’re feeling very unhappy and unsettled by what’s happening in our country right now. The changes are overwhelming, the flood of negative news is unrelenting, and there’s a sense of loss as I watch what’s happening. In some real sense, it requires grieving, as I realize that things are changing rapidly and those changes might be permanent. So the real question in my mind is this: How do I respond? How can I process these changes, and will we ever get back to normal? I suggest that the five stages of grief offer a model for how to proceed.

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Too Big To Succeed

Church, Evangelicalism /

In light of the TNE GRACE report, I was thinking about how large organizations, especially religious, seem to inherently breed narcissism and abusive leadership, especially when the organization gets so large that people cover up bad behavior rather than risk toppling the hero leaders.

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On the Death of American Democracy

Uncategorized /

For many years now, I have been saying that even the American democratic system will ultimately fail, that it will never become The Kingdom of God, that democracy itself must be shown to be inferior to whatever God’s government ultimately will look like. Much to my dismay and discomfort, it’s now happening, faster than I could have imagined. But what SHOULD the Kingdom look like? And in the meantime, what should my response be?

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Winning by Losing

Uncategorized /

What’s the best way to advance the Kingdom of God on earth? Perhaps you think it’s by conquering our culture, by fighting against those trying to lead us away from God. Or maybe it’s something different. Maybe if we inspect the Way of Jesus, we’ll see something sharply different, something that requires us to sacrifice ourselves instead of conquering others.

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A Thousand Points of Light

Government /

That George H.W. Bush phrase, “A Thousand Points of Light?” from his inaugural speech in 1989 was deeply inspirational to me. That phrase, today, has captured my thoughts again, but perhaps in an unexpected way. And it shows how far we’ve fallen from those days that I remember. How can I be a point of light today?

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Laying Down My Arms

Christian Nationalism /

Everything is a battle lately, both politics and religion, and this keeps us focused on everyone else being our enemy, not our neighbor or fellow believer. I’m choosing to lay down my arms, and stop this cycle of violence which prevents us from moving forward together.

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