Welcome to Crucible of Thought! I'm Brandon, and I was a member of conservative evangelical congregations for 45 years. This blog is about things that I've learned since 2020, as I've been undergoing a process of "deprogramming," "deconstruction," "reconstruction"... pick whatever term you want, but basically a process carefully examining many different aspects of my social, political, and religious beliefs to see what really actually aligns with the Bible and specifically the teachings of Jesus, more than what aligns with the host of dogmatic statements I inherited in years of church training. I'm not trying to persuade anyone: I'm sharing my process, in the hopes that it inspires and enlightens others. I welcome you to join me as we move forward in our faith together.
When we learn to release what other people think of our doctrine or politics or God, there’s a real joy and freedom. I may be feeling betrayed, but I’m also feeling released and freed.
There is Joy in Disconnection Read More »
Betrayal causes a trauma response in humans. Institutions, not just people, can be the source of betrayal. A normal human response to betrayal trauma is to disengage completely from the institution. That’s where I am in relation to several institutions I previously trusted and depended on for my identity.
I will never forget what was done to the US on 9/11. But I also think it’s well beyond time to repent of our response, and Never Forget what happens when a people collectively lash out in anger and fear, and vow to do our best to never repeat that mistake.
As my religious understanding changes, I’m discovering that so does my language about religion. But to “be all things to all men, so that I may save some,” I have to become multilingual – fluently speaking the native language of whatever tribe I am with.
Becoming Multilingual Read More »
A transformative moment for me recently was realizing that my compulsive need for labels to figure out how to treat people was harming my relationships, and keeping me from truly loving people who are very different than me.
Did God stop speaking at the end of the first century AD? Did He tell us literally everything we need to know in the Bible? I’ve been thinking about the various basic approaches to reading and understanding the Bible. It seems to me that there are at least two related methods of Bible interpretation, and their interaction results in some rather different outcomes depending on your assumptions.
Is the Bible the Final Word? Read More »
I remember the day my relationship with fireworks changed. When I suddenly noticed that I could see the shells climbing and trailing sparks and finally bursting, something of their magical nature died for me. So it was with my faith.
The Day the Magic Died Read More »
What is an enemy? Do we Christians really even HAVE enemies? For that matter, are we supposed to?
Our testimony isn’t just for unbelievers. Sometimes it needs to be for our fellow Christians, inviting them to see a different perspective, expanding their existing awareness. And a gentle invitation is so much more effective than a demanding assault on what we see as error.
A New Kind of Testimony Read More »
It’s taken a couple years, but I realized this week that I’m completely done with being called an Evangelical and a Republican. I simply cannot abide the toxicity inherent in both labels. Here’s some thoughts about why.
The End of My Evangelicalism Read More »
